Thursday, August 17, 2006

Testing Testosterone

Testing. Hello test. 1.2.3.

I noticed last night my wife has this testing device to check glucose levels. It's called Free Style. I saw it sitting by the bathroom sink. (Well, at least it's not a pregnancy test. That'd be a bit of a shocker for about 9 reasons you don't wanna know.) Something like what diabetics use. I should probably ask her; might be good for the relationship to actually converse meaningfully, at least on alternating Wednesdays.

Anyway, it got me to thinking.

Which is typically dangerous.

And typically late at night.

Why not a little doodad like this to gauge testosterone levels?

Call it Freer Stylin'.

And it can be for both men and women. With men, it might not be all that hot a market item except as an Early Warning System (EWS) of oceanic testosterone spikes. I know there's not a heckuva lot of need for a testosterone EWS because naturally we know when things are stirring in the nether regions south of the belt buckle, or at least when we want them to stir.

They say testosterone is linked to aggressive behavior, so it might have some uses there. Might want to give it to W. and the Devil In A Suit Who Can't Handle His, Um, Shotgun before their Cabinet meetings.

And they say testosterone is the thing that gives women their sex drive too. I've heard. (Here come all those cyber-pies headed toward my face.)

You can look it up (and while you're at it The Quote Verifier will tell you about that famous quote).

An Early Warning System for testosterone in women.

I like that. Hmmmm. What would we call that one?

(Stop with the Hallmark card lovey-dovey posts already, willya.)

Play Ball?

Batter Up?

Delta Dawn?

Just Your Size?

Tropical Storm Warning?


azgoddess said...

i think i would have to agree

to have an early warning system for men - i well, one of those needless things to invent..

as we all know when men have too much...they get that stupid grin on their face and keep looking at every breast that walks by...LOL

meloncutter said...

I have heard, that as women age they tend to have more testosterone in thier system. I am not sure about the sex drive thing. 26 years ago we went at it like bunnies. Now that my spouse has aged some, she just sits there, scratches her nuts and says not tonight. I am not sure when the nuts appeared but they werent there 26 years ago. But that could be a natural indicator of higher testosterone levels. The beard and back hair that hit a few years back could also be a sign.

I shall have to read up on this one.

Later Yall....

Michael C said...

I vote for Delta Dawn...what's that weird look you've got on?

Unless you named it the Testosternator (with real time accu-forcasting and doppler imaging)??

Raj said...

ummm.. azgoddess is right, there r so many indicators which tell u men r running high on testosterone, but the meter for women sounds good idea.......

Hey in my comment for the last post I meant staying awake till 3 am in the night coz I generally study for my MBA in the night.

Andrew said...

The device may not be necessary. There aleady is a simple way to tell if a guy's testosterone level is up ... check to see if he is breathing.

MyHeartHurts said...

I would call it take me now you fool! lol* how many times do we simply miss the boat because we don't know if the yin yin is in need of the yang yang! lol get the picture? lol ~M

Julie said...

ha! you're funny. I just Blog Rolled you. thanks for commenting on my site!

JR's Thumbprints said...

Sounds like a practical test I could use on myself before I move my neighbor's boat trailer off my property. That way nothing more than words will be exchanged.

Instigator said...

brilliant idea. maybe that way you know why you suddenly like the girls around you... and then you could (but sophiticated gentlemen like us won't of course) go into a bathroom... sy hello to little johnny, step out into reality and find out tht the girl you liked was actually plain... very plain...