the talkies

A river bursting over its banks.

--Thanks for splitting the motel bill.

--'Sallright.

--Which way we going? We already went this way.

--I gotta stop off, pick up some things.

--Stop off? Where?

--Home. Such it is, such as it was.

--Stop the world, I want to get off.

--It was a play, or a movie. Maybe a song. Maybe all three.

--We're in it together.

--Innit. As Brits say.

--What is it that we're in?

--A car, stupid.

--What's that smell?

--Smells like teen spirit.

--Wrong age.

--Wrong decade.

--Try, century.

--How much longer?

--Beats me.

--What's your name?

--You go first.

--No, you.

--Never mind. I like it this way.

--Me too.

--Masked and anonymous.

 

you talkin' to me?

pardon me
you heard me
no, really, I didn't
I said, "to be or not to be"
that's what I thought
so you did hear me
point taken
I'll say it again
I dare you
"to be or not to be"
let's face it, that's pretty fuckn grandiose
how
c'mon
it ain't grandiose, it's basic
like "back to basics"
I've never understood what that meant
it's elemental, fundamental, mental, unsentimental
now you sound like early Dylan
nothing wrong with that
it's alright, ma
elementary, my dear Watson
he never said that
not exactly
anyway, where were we
right here
right here is where we always are
nowhere, man
now here
clever
slow down, you better slow down
break it down
when you said, "to be or not to be" were you serious
of course I was
serious as in suicidal
what, where do you get that
well, you're standing alone all serious and shit
it's a fecking play, I'm a character, on a stage
all the world's a stage
bingo
the play's the thing
how 'bout "play's the thing"
as in juggling, like the king's Fool
not that kind of juggling, more like thi
jousting
joisting
James Joyceting
ca-ching
bada-bing
to be
or
not to be
sproing
back to Square One
exactly
approximately
approximately King Hamlet
that's rich, even royal
royal manna
give that man a cigar
he she it them
that, too
 

saving grace

you know, I saved a baby
what do you mean you saved a baby; from what?
it was choking
it was choking?
it was choking, a newborn
where?
I don't know where
what do you mean you don't know where, what?
even if I knew I wouldn't tell you
stop playing games
what games? 
so, tell me
tell you what?
what happened
I was working at 911, the mother called
and...
and I walked her through it, what to do
like what?
turn the baby over, pound the back
pound?
well, not exactly pound
so it worked?
it did
it did?
yes, thank God
or thanks to you
both
both?
both me and God
the three of you?
yeah, okay, then, sure, me, Mom, and God
the baby, too
true, why not, throw the baby in there, too
saving grace
if you say so
I do
fair enough
was that her name?
hunh?
Grace
I don't know, I never found out
good story
it's not a story
but it is
if you say so

mother superior jumped the gun

my dear Mother Superior
yes, my child
my dear Father Superior
go on, my child
I can't seem to keep my vows
which ones, my little one?
well, all of them
oh?
oh
especially my Vow of Silence
dear me
woe is me
we can see that
or is it woe is I?
technically
technically is this breaking the vow?
we haven't gotten that far, digitally
the spirit of the law versus the letter
something to consider
to weigh
to ponder
there's that old joke about the Vow of Silence
which one?
there can't be that many
the one about the person who meets with the Superior once a year
oh, that one
and is asked, how are things going?
right
I remember now
cold food
a year later, stiff bed
the year after that, cold room
right
and then expelled
yes
"all you ever do is complain"
tossed out
that's the one
exited, to the curb
there's the door
knew it!
 

hackronyms

sorry, excuse me

no, you're fine

yeah, no

you're good

thanks, yeah, thank you

you're fine

sorry, no, I thought . . .

no, yeah, you're good

appreciate that

like, why wouldn't you be good?

yeah, no

it's all good, life is good

I hear ya

so . . .

"fine"

so fine; there was a song

before my time

c'mon, you've heard it, catchy

"doo-lang, doo-lang"

that's it!

"he's so fine"

the Chiffons

yes! yes!

sexy

catchy

so fine

FINE

hunh?

frustrated insecure needy enraged

hunh, what?

F-I-N-E

oh, I get it, clever

like fucked-up insolvent neurotic effete

two can play this game

fine

fraudulent intolerant nasty excoriating

oooh

friendly innocent naive enthusiastic

pshaw

no, yeah

yeah, no

yeah

yeah

yeah, yeah, yeah

excelsior

what floor you get off?

excuse me?

4, hit 4

2, let me out at 2

you can't walk that?

where do you get off?

that's my business

hey let me out, hold the door

too late

really? I told you 2

sorry

no, youi're not

4, I'm getting out at 4

we heard you the first time

everybody heard 2 but what good did that do?

I know, right?

you people

it's not like it's your elevator

4, hold the door

too late

are you shittin' me?

let's go up to 7, I've never been up there

you know, you'ree fuckn crazy, there is no 7

who says?

who says?!

reality says

what's reality?

stop! don't start with that crazy shit, just let me off! anywhere!

me too, stop!

stop it yourself

we will, we have, we did

where you get off? what floor?

who? me? none of your business

I can't get the door to open

this is hell

purgatory at best

call the super

I am the super

let me out

yeah, let me out

let us out

feed my lambs

did you feed the kids

what kids

our kids

as in goats kids

no, silly

oh, those kids

yes, those kids

but, they're all grown.

they are

since when

since they were emancipated, and not by proclamation, either

i do declare, a declaration not a proclamation

yes, you do declare

so they feed themselves

on a good day, yes

what do they feed themselves

depends

on what

they forage

you don't say

I do say, proclaim, and declare

they forage, rummage, hunt, and ferret out

but is it organic?

there's nothing more organic

you don't say

I do, redux

I took Latin, too

I took Latin 3 and Latin 4

Well, veni, vidi, vici to you

Amen

That's not Latin

What is it

I dunno, Hebrew. Maybe Aramaic.

Ain't you a smarty pants!

Amen.

I'm going back to sleep.

Did you feed the kids?

lag time

You said it didn't bother you.
It didn't.
So what's the big problem then.
It's not a problem. It bothers me now, though.
Why now.
I don't know. There's a lag time.
Lag time.
Yeah, I need time to process things.
Process. Like a food processor. Or a word processor.
No. Nothing like that.
So, it's like what.
It's like nothing. I just need time to process. My emotions.
Lag time.
Correct.
What do they lag behind.
What.
I said, what do those emotions lag behind.
Nothing. Forget I mentioned it.
Is it like jet lag.
I said drop it.
Laggard.
Name-caller. Haggard name-caller.

we need to talk

The door opens.
We need to talk.
The door closes.
We need to talk.
About what?
You know.
No, I don't.
You know: that.
What that?
Oh. That that.
Yeah.
So what do you want to say?
I don't know. Nothing.
What should we talk about?
You made me feel . . .
I made you feel?
Stop interrupting.
I'm not --
I'm confused.
I'm lost.
Remember that time when . . .
No, I don't remember that time when . . .
Think back.
What did you feel?
Chills.
Chills?
And fever.
That was hot.
And cold. Freezing.
What were we talking about?
I forgot.
You never said.
I didn't?
We need to talk more.
We do. Like this?
Like this. Or like something. I don't know.
Why not?
Stop.
Why don't you answer?
Sometimes it's like you're speaking a foreign language.
Which one?
You speak in tongues.
Sounds sexy.
Stop.
Can you learn that on Duolingo?
I suppose.
We need to do this again.
Word.
Word for word.
Ditto.

the eyes have it

Are you laughing at what I just said? Smirking?
I didn't say anything. No, I was not laughing. Or smirking, as you call it.
But your eyes are smirking.
Eyes can't smirk.
Yes, they can. You just proved it. Look at yourself.
I can't look at myself. That's impossible, like 'watch your head.'
But your eyes are still smirking, mocking me.
If you say so. Speaking of which, please stop yelling at me.
I'm not yelling.
You're yelling at me with your eyes.
Eyes can't yell.
To quote someone in this conversation, 'Yes, they can.'
Where are we going with this?
Who said anyone's going anywhere?
I just want to be clear.
Is that possible?
For us?
For anyone.
Does it matter?
You know, it's all about the journey, not the destination blah blah blah.
What time is it? I have to go.
Does anybody really know what time it is? Go? Go where?
Anywhere but here.
Here we go again.
Then close your eyes.
Don't get lost now.
Too late. 

Bedtime Story, Act I

Can you give me a lift? I can pay you for gas.
Where to?
Over to the West Side, just over the city line.
People still hitchhike? And at your age?
You don't know my age.
Just saying. It was a Sixties and Seventies thing. But frowned upon. Because . . .
You gonna give me a ride or not?
Yeah, yeah. Calm down. Sure. How much for gas?
Ten.
Make it twelve.
Why twelve?
Cosmic.
Deal.
I need it now. Because, you know. Ya never know.
What's next, a "request" for a blowjob or get out and walk?
Too predictable.
True.
Let's dispense with the basic formalities. I'm Raoul. And you are . . .
Lefty.
Lefty? Not very feminine.
Not very feminine? Who the fuck are you to say?
No one. No one at all. "Fuck" ain't so feminine either, but I guess that depends on what you mean by "fuck" and what I mean by "feminine."
Here's twelve singles, one is a little ripped.
We're all damaged. Thank you. Appreciate it.
No prob.
What street we going to?
Hawthorne.
I prefer Emerson or Thoreau, with a dash of Melville.
Aren't you clever. 
I am that. What block?
1200 Hawthorne.
Got it. I hope this is nothing illegal.
Why do you say that, Raul?
Raoul. The French spelling.
Are you French?
I am not. Are you?
No, sir, if I may be so formal.
I like your voice. It's soothing. The voice a kid wants to hear for a bedtime story.
Do people still do that?
What? Speak with voices instead of texts?
No, tell bedtime stories.
Yes, I'm sure.
It's getting dark.
It's not dark yet but it's getting there.
Bob Dylan.
Excellent.
You're the second person in two days to talk about my voice.
Really? In a good way?
Yeah, what's your bedtime story?
What are you wearing?
What do you mean? That sounds naughty, especially for a so-called bedtime so-called story.
You know. Scent.
Chance. By Chanel.
As in, don't take chances?
The bedtime story, please.
Once upon a time...
Please.
Once upon a time an elderly man without any visible tattoos, a courtly fellow with a slight British accent, posh, wearing Tom Ford Ombre Leather, glided his 1957 Thunderbird convertible to a gentle stop on Strait Street as he saw a hitchhiker, an anomaly of the age, her thumb out, corny, as in an old movie, slightly sullen, not smiling but catching the driver's eye. The car stopped, but not the driver's mental ruminations. She was in her forties, likely, cut-off frayed blue jeans, hot August evening, Versace (maybe) shades atop her dirty blonde hair, tall, willowy, statuesque. Stately. Green eyes, but possibly blue or hazel from this distance. This spelled danger. Something out of a film noir that the film's backers chickened out on as a lousy financial risk. He rolled down the passenger-side window electronically. (The windows up on the convertible helped his hearing and didn't mess up his hair.) As he began to call out to her, he found himself yawning. She yawned.
Hey, it's right here. Stop. Here it is. 1200. Hawthorne.
I guess this is it.
I guess it is.
I guess so. 
See you.
Maybe see you again.
Thanks. Yeah. See ya.

remembrance of things past, and present

I'll talk to you soon.
See you soon. 
You said you'd talk to me soon.
I did.
You said you'd see me soon.
Correct. 
What happened.
Nothing.
What about talking to me soon.
I did.
No, you didn't.
What do you mean.
Exactly.
What do you mean, what do you mean.
I mean you didn't talk to me soon, or see me soon.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
I don't want to argue about it.
I'm not arguing.
You're not arguing.
We're not arguing.
Then what is this.
Never mind.
Never mind what.
Where are you going.
Who said I'm going anywhere.
You're going.
I'm going to go.
When will I see you again.
See you soon.
Soon.
Talk to you soon.
I'm going too.
Where.
Not far.
Pretty close.
When are you coming back.
Soon.
You're saying soon.
I think so.
We'll get together soon.
We'll talk soon.
I'll text you.
Text me.
Soon.

interlocutor interruptus

Yeah, no

But then I

You know

Because

If only

Know what I'm sayin'

And then

You don't understand

Me too

You were wrong

Told you so

Right

Nope

No, yeah

Not me

You're crazy

So I

Never

That was like

Wait

But