'Waterproofing Your Child' ?

And the Bookseller/Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year is:

"The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-Milligram Containers of Fromage Frais."

I'm slightly disappointed in that if I had known beforehand about this contest I might have wisely (or wickedly unwisely) submitted a title or two or three from the reports that cross my desk (actually, right now, my desk consists of a TV tray table upon which my laptop rests).

The shortlist included:

• "Curbside Consultation of the Colon" (pleasant alliteration, aye?)

• "The Large Sieve and Its Applications"

• "Strip and Knit with Style" (not what you think)

• "Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring"

As I say, my clients can gladly top these any day of the week, with gusto, if they so choose.

Nominees and winners from other years:

• "100 Years of British Retail Catering"
• "50 New Poodle Grooming Styles"
• "Proceedings of the Second International Symposium on Nude Mice" (a winner, hands down, or by a tail)
• "Versailles: The View From Sweden" (one of my faves; a past winner; was Sarah Palin the author?)
• "Weeds in a Changing World"
• "Reusing Old Graves"
• "A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coatings"
• "Sex After Death"
• "Waterproofing Your Child"
• "Cheese Problems Solved"
• "People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It" (pardon me?)
  
• "Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers"
• "How to Avoid Huge Ships"

The Times made a big hahaha of several titles, including the last one, which I would find eminently practical were I a sailor on a little sailboat or skiff. A bit condescending of The New York Times, eh?

Carry on.

Laugh. Or...

Else.