Showing posts with label names. Show all posts
Showing posts with label names. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

name change / game change


In ancient times, it was said that the naming of a person, place, or thing conferred an identity. Ancient times? We still do it. All the time. Whether we are naming a child, a pet, a vehicle, or a street, we are conferring an identity, or trying to. (And look at the entanglement some sports teams have gotten into because of an offensive or disrespectful name.) Companies spend tons of money to create a name of a product that sends a subliminal message as well as a liminal and supraliminal enticement to buy, acquire, or possess. 

So, the inevitable question arises: why not simply rename the planet? Who says it has to be named Harm?

In other words, can we retrofit the identity-conferring naming process? Does it work inside out as well as outside in?

I say, it’s worth a try.

I expect risks and challenges. For one, reaching a consensus presents perhaps insurmountable challenges. Preceding consensus, how do Harmlings nominate new planet names? I can envision geographical districts voting upon alternatives, leading to a global referendum. But as I type these words, I am overwhelmed at how daunting this might be. Squabbles are bound to erupt over the renaming process, logistics, transparency, fairness, trust, objectivity, accuracy, et cetera ad finitum (infinitum is hyperbole). The whole enterprise seems like an invitation for adding layers of harm, new harm-laden permutations and configurations. 

For all we know, this is precisely how we got into this mess (mess is judgmental; after all, how do we know whether Harm’s status quo is any or worse or better than that on Earth, the moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn, or Proxima Centauri (allegedly the closest star)?

But as I said, it’s worth a try. That’s the subterranean optimist in me talking. What have we got to lose? (See above for potential loss scenarios.)

Just for kicks and giggles, what would be your new-planet-moniker nomination? Remember, this venture just might work. As they say, be careful for what you ask for. If renaming were to yield reframing, what would you suggest?

Harder than you thought, right?

As an example, take “love,” a natural choice. Planet Love. Idyllic, eh? Hold on. You can see the dissent already: love in its multitude of manifestations or masquerades: familial, parental, paternal, maternal, fraternal, sororal, platonic, erotic, romantic, asexual, collegial, sacrificial, communal, eternal, self-directed, patriotic, divine, satanic, psychotic, monogamous, polyamorous love.

Who knew we’d be pining for good ol’ Harm?

And don't forget: what is the guarantee that a planetary name change will result in a game change? We can't say with certainty that customs, practices, and actions on Harm will actually change.  

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Twenty Names

Sure, you're beginning to think of me as a Twenty Something HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Today, let's try Twenty Names. I'm a bit of a name dropper (more than a bit; and does it not give evidence of a certain character flaw, an obsequiousness built on flimsy moorings?).

I will be linear this time and limit myself to those I have met or have seen in person, even en passant, say, on a Manhattan street, or in an elevator, or have somehow corresponded with. (I have tried not to include those I saw or heard merely as an audience member.)

Joseph Heller, Theodor Seuss Geisel, Willie Mays, John Updike, Telly Savalas, Hans Conried, Victor Borge, Bert Parks, Mona Simpson, Madeleine L'Engle, Suzanne Farrell, Jerry Jeff Walker, Jerry Garcia, Regis Philbin, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Suzanne Vega, William F. Buckley Jr., Woody Allen, Sara Miles (the author), J. Walter Kennedy, Marc Brown, Henry Roth, Richard Ford, David Grambs, Bob Hicok, Peter DeVries, Ed Bradley, Meryl Streep, Andre the Giant, Tom Wolfe, William Maxwell, Peter Ustinov, Isaac Asimov, Beverly Cleary, Bob Mitchell, Dan Valenti, Jonathan Miles, Gordon Lish, Elliott Gould, Bobby Murcer.

Yeah, I know, it's more than Twenty Names. I got carried away.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Misnomers and Mr. Nomers


So, several weeks ago I met the guy who owns our building. Being a suitably affable marketing guy (who never wears a suit), I amiably chatted with him. His name is Peter M., a genial and talented Captain of Modern Industry. I discovered we went to the same college, etc.

Turns out he's a trustee of the college. I'm not. It may have something to do with the variance in our levels of alumni donations over the years. I'm just guessing.

Peter comes down to our floor to visit fairly frequently.

I notice he's been calling me Peter.

At first I thought I heard wrong, but, no, he says, "Hi, Peter."

Trouble is, I've been replying, "Hi, Peter" in true Doppelganger Loyalist fashion.

I'm a J. Alfred Prufrock on this one. A wimp.

I couldn't bring myself, after several nominal misnomers (or mister nomers, if you prefer) to correct him.

I didn't know how to begin. Call me Pawlie (not Peter) Kowardnuts, if you must.

Ballet Daughter warned me: You'd better nip this in the bud. It'll only get worse.

Today I took action.

I told Shannon, Peter's assistant. And she told Peter. Brave, eh?

Peter came by later in the afternoon, rolling his eyes. We're good. however, he departed my "office" area saying, "See you later," noticeably but good-humoredly not saying my name.

If he only knew about Pawlie Kokonuts.

Whew.


Words, and Then Some

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