Friday, August 04, 2006

Father Knows Breast

You may have heard the shocking news that Babytalk magazine, "a free magazine that caters [remember "catering" as you read on] to young mothers, features a picture of a nursing baby on its latest cover. "Nursing baby" here means baby nursing on a human breast, presumably its own mother's breast. The adjectives to describe this seminal (wrong word) event, as cited in an Agence France Presse wire story today, include the following: shocked, horrified, gross, offended, uncomfortable, disgusting.

In the interest of accuracy, I must report that the article quotes the executive editor of Babytalk magazine as saying most readers gave a thumbs up (well, at least it wasn't penises up!) in a poll querying them about the cover.

One woman said she had to rip the cover off so her husband wouldn't see it. One offended mother was from Nevada, where stodgy and staid Las Vegas sits and where, if I'm not mistaken, prostitution is legal in some counties.

A mother of a four-month-old (human, I guess) is quoted as saying, "I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob."

Which makes me curious and inquisitive:

Is she sick of seeing her baby attached to her boob? Someone elses's boob? Her husband's?

If she's talking about herself, can she switch? Must she stare?

Or is their house filled with images of baby-attached boobs?

Does she have the same outrage if the baby is more or less attached to the boob tube while she files her nails and eats bonbons all day?

Is her husband just as sick and tired of this image? In other words, is he more of an ass man?

I could go on, of course.

But I'll let you nursing bloggers suck on this one to see how it nourishes you.

I haven't checked yet, but if JBWriterGirl and "The Not-So News" titular blog beat me to it, I'm sure her story tops mine. Or tops mine off.

This gives a whole new dimension to Halloween this year:

Will kids say "Trick or teat?" before mothers offer 'em a Milky Way?

For the record, I'd say the "offending" mother was a D cup.

And the child looks idyllically serene but is not winking.

Cheerios.

5 comments:

meloncutter said...

I like the halloween twist. This year I might dress up as a breast before I go run the neighborhood. I have not tried that one yet.

Maybe if I wear a big boob suit I will be able to partake of the Halloween festivities this year without people guessing what I am and getting it wrong.
Every year no matter what I wear, be it a clown suit, a robot or whatever no one ever gets it right. Everyone I see or meet on Halloween never guesses right. I hear them talk. "look at that asshole" or "I wish that asshole would go home" or "that stupid asshole" and I have never once wore an asshole costume. Stupid people. This year I will get the recognition I deserve for my halloween costume.

Thanks for the idea. Halloween will be great this year.

Later Yall.

Odat said...

Figures you would note the "D" cup .....and i don't mean that in a bad way....just that men and breasts.......well you get the picture......lmao

Andrew said...

So... presumably the dissenting voices wouldn't be the same group recently seen parading around with "Janet Jackson for President" signs??

Michael C said...

I was going to try and write a comment, but I really want some milk now for some reason. "Funny, he never has a second cup at our house."

azgoddess said...

how obsurd...women actually getting offended that baby's are doing what is perfectly normal - eating!!

and FYI - when women breast-feed -- they all look like D cup or bigger - lol