You may have heard the shocking news that Babytalk magazine, "a free magazine that caters [remember "catering" as you read on] to young mothers, features a picture of a nursing baby on its latest cover. "Nursing baby" here means baby nursing on a human breast, presumably its own mother's breast. The adjectives to describe this seminal (wrong word) event, as cited in an Agence France Presse wire story today, include the following: shocked, horrified, gross, offended, uncomfortable, disgusting.
In the interest of accuracy, I must report that the article quotes the executive editor of Babytalk magazine as saying most readers gave a thumbs up (well, at least it wasn't penises up!) in a poll querying them about the cover.
One woman said she had to rip the cover off so her husband wouldn't see it. One offended mother was from Nevada, where stodgy and staid Las Vegas sits and where, if I'm not mistaken, prostitution is legal in some counties.
A mother of a four-month-old (human, I guess) is quoted as saying, "I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob."
Which makes me curious and inquisitive:
Is she sick of seeing her baby attached to her boob? Someone elses's boob? Her husband's?
If she's talking about herself, can she switch? Must she stare?
Or is their house filled with images of baby-attached boobs?
Does she have the same outrage if the baby is more or less attached to the boob tube while she files her nails and eats bonbons all day?
Is her husband just as sick and tired of this image? In other words, is he more of an ass man?
I could go on, of course.
But I'll let you nursing bloggers suck on this one to see how it nourishes you.
I haven't checked yet, but if JBWriterGirl and "The Not-So News" titular blog beat me to it, I'm sure her story tops mine. Or tops mine off.
This gives a whole new dimension to Halloween this year:
Will kids say "Trick or teat?" before mothers offer 'em a Milky Way?
For the record, I'd say the "offending" mother was a D cup.
And the child looks idyllically serene but is not winking.