Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Confessions of an Anachronism


Call me Anachronism. And why is that? I am an anachronism (albeit a proud anachronism) because:
  1. I wear slippers.
  2. I wear pajamas.
  3. Communal meal times are sacred and should not be marred by one's answering the phone or watching television. (If one is alone, anything goes.)
  4. I use the word "one" like an old fuddy-duddy (see above).
  5. I use the word anachronism.
  6. I loathe multitasking.
  7. The demands and rigors of quotidian, paid labor do not intercede upon my every waking hour and every thought in my head (except for all-consuming anxiety, paranoia, and neurosis related to same).
  8. I read books (fiction even! and poetry!).
  9. I read newspapers -- in print.
  10. I watch news (worse yet, I listen to news reports on the radio).
  11. I have not the slightest idea how to use an iPod or the MP3 player that my satellite radio comes with.
  12. I know what a preposition is and understand that in item 11 I ended a sentence with a preposition -- and I'm perfectly okay with that.
  13. I have diagrammed sentences on a blackboard.
  14. I have to gladly say I have split infinitives.
  15. I continue to obsessively rant about something called the serial comma.
  16. I was taught by Mrs. Rivers in seventh grade that these words take predicate nominatives: is, am, was, were, have been, has, had, appear, feel, grow, become, look, taste, remain; consequently, "I feel bad" is the preferred form. (Hunh?)
  17. I used to know the Our Father in Latin (let's see now, how does that go? "Pater noster qui es in caelis...").
  18. My car lacks one of those automatic key starters and has manual locks.
  19. I am a sinning believer, a member of a religious institution who tries to attend and partake of its services regularly.
  20. I am an anachronism.
Out of time.

Rarely on time.

What century do I belong to? What era? Victorian perhaps?

What era is your era?

6 comments:

Patti said...

I have yet to see the era of my ways.

Patti said...

P.S.: PK, are you saying you are an old fuddy-duddy?
I picture you comfortable in the 1950s, the type of guy who plays bridge with the neighbors on a card table set up in your suburban living room.

Odat said...

I may be half an anachronism...if that's possible...lol.
I can relate to half those things on your list!
Peace

Ralph said...

Gotta agree with you on the newspapers - I couldn't deal without one. It's a visceral thing: the crunching of the newsprint, the ink on your fingers, the story jumps, etc. Where would one be without it? Plus old papers are great for triple wrapping garbage or starting charcoal fires...

Glamourpuss said...

I'm an eighteenth-century wench trapped in the twenty-first century, so I compensate by pole dancing.

Puss

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

You are erring on the side of self doubt, methinks. Actually becoming an anachronism is a fundamental requirement of a good life... if one hasn't reached it then that one hasn't lived.

We exist in a world that changes with every passing second, it's a shameful sin that there are those who neither realize nor appreciate that fact.

I am delighted that you do, and delighted that you are everything that you are. What a wonderful collection of treasures throughout time you are (there's your preposition, are you ok with that?)

I like to say that I should have been born in the twenties so that I could have been in my twenties during the forties and lived that whole silver screen era. But then I think, I like corvettes and jets too much to have given them up for the Elizabethan era that I could never live without.

If you are an anachronism then I am all irony.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

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