Thursday, September 20, 2007

Coin of the Realm




In the U.S., there's talk of Congress (no, not that kind of congress, Puss) changing the rules, so to speak, for the abysmally unsuccessful Sacagawea gold coins. (By unsuccessful, I don't mean lacking in profitable or revenue-producing or collectible attributes. I mean: Dude, does anybody use them? Same goes for the new Presidential coins gimmick.)

Somehow, the Powers-That-Would-Be think and feel that adding ever-changing designs to the coin will work.

Listen up, boys and girls in the Halls of Power:

It ain't going to work unless you end, delete, stop printing, cease from production the paper dollar bill of the same denomination. Nobody will care, not even if you depict sequential scenes from Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's infamous alleged honeymoon video.

Wake up.

Take a look at what Canada does. They not only don't use paper for singles; they also have no paper for two-dollar currency, instead relying on the "loonie" and "twonie" coins respectively.

Euros? They use coins for one's and two's, not paper.

Certainly not both paper and coins for those denominations.

It is moronic. (And we're not even discussing the lack of variable colors for variable denominations.)

Hey, I love the coins (well, not exactly; some of the artwork is atrocious), but it is hideously stupid to think the coins will work while the paper dollar bills continue.

Idiotic bureaucrats and politicians making idiotic decisions.

Metaphor, anyone?

p.s. I just figured it out. The strippers' and lapdancers' lobbies are so powerful they don't want to phase out US$1 bills because of their popularity for tips [the antecedent for the pronoun "their" is the noun "bills"] (incidentally, did you American folks know there are $2 bills?). C'mon, Strippers and Lapdancers Amalgamated Interest Group: Coins will work just fine. Ca-ching.

6 comments:

Patti said...

Without Wikipedia consult,
I know Sacagawea
was a Native born.
Her hair no doubt
was never shorn.

(reference to Don the Barber)

She had more than a wisp
and possibly even a lisp.

No 24-hour news cycle
and not even a bicycle
In autumn she'd see leaves
golden, red, and crisp.

P.S. Lots of coins could rip one's pockets.

P.P.S. yes, I know there are $2 bills.

Anonymous said...

I have an uncle who used to send Christmas monies each year in unusual denominations, the $2 bill being his favorite. I can't tell you how many times over the years I have had store clerks unfamiliar with their existence.

Glamourpuss said...

Actually, coins really hurt when they are thrown.

British strippers make less because the smallest denomination of note is a fiver, and you don't just chuck fivers around.

Puss

Unknown said...

I saw a stripper pick up a stack of quarters once..... It was a cheap two bit place.


Later Y'all.

JR's Thumbprints said...

You're absolutely correct on this one. Thank God the Loonie's value has increased, how else will Michigan increase revenue from their sales tax; our unemployment rate is above seven percent.

Army said...

I can't tell you how much I hate buying stamps out of the machine after-hours. Inevitably, I only have a $20 in my pocket, so after I buy my book, my ears are assaulted by the plunge of all stupid dollar coins!

Granted, if that's all we'd have, I'd deal with it. But given the choice, I want my easy-to-use paper money.

So yes, our leaders, as ever, are too busy pleasing the idiots by providing the illusion of choice. Just pull the rug out from under us. We might hate you a while, but at least we'd start to respect you.

Words, and Then Some

Too many fled Spillways mouths Oceans swill May flies Swamped Too many words Enough   Said it all Spoke too much Tongue tied Talons claws sy...