Assorted R-A-T-S

In The Washington Post's Style Invitational weekly humor contest, the contest was to create words containing, contiguously, the letters A, S, T and R, in any order.

Here's a sampling:

Fourth Runner-up: First-Rationalizer: Unofficial title of the White House press secretary. (Peter Metrinko, Chantilly)

Third Runner-up: E-fenestration: tossing out your old version of Windows. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Second Runner-up: The winner of the dinosaur poop fossil: Retrash: To have a yard sale to get rid of all the junk you picked up at other people's yard sales. (Dot Yufer, Newton, W.Va.)

And the Winner Of the Inker:

Oughtacrats: People who have half a mind to solve all the world's problems with their brilliant ideas, one of these days . . . (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

The STRA-gglers:

Overstraightment: I am not gay. I never have been gay. The men I have sex with are not gay either. (Chris Doyle, Kihei, Hawaii)

Dorkestra: A kazoo ensemble. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Drivertashk: A DUI test. "See, offisher, I can touch my noezh! Gimme another drivertashk, like balanshing on the light wine!" (Randy Lee, Burke)

Arstistic: Able to make creative butt-pictures on the photocopier. (Stacey Kenkeremath, Alexandria)

Reprocrastinate: Put off having children. (Dan and Suzanne Colilla, Pittsburgh)

I-strain: What egotists give others. (Tom Witte)

B'arstool: What's left after a grizzly sits in the woods. (Chris Doyle)

Aversatile: Repelled by anything. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

The rest of the "winners" (also fondly known as Losers) are here.

Typically, the "honorable mentions" are even funnier than the top winners. Agree?


(Notice: Pawlie Kokonuts, The Erstwhile Laughorist, may take a week off from blogging to work on a short story or two, in an attempt to get published in the real world, using his real non-nom de plume. Carry on.)