Thursday, February 08, 2007


Bored (i.e., rich) teenagers are busting fences as a form of entertainment. According to a recent story in The New York Times, suburban Long Island (New York) teens run at and hurl themselves into wooden fences separating neighbors, sending themselves and slats flying. Then they brag about it by displaying images or videos of their, um, performance art on various Web sites.

It's called fence-plowing or fence-popping. The more technical term is:

This behavior is more popularly known as moronism.

To my knowledge, advanced defencestration is not yet an accredited course at any college in Southern Florida, Texas, or California.

Is Slats Dominoes their leader?

Although they undoubtedly never heard of him, were they subconsciously inspired by the late Pete Reiser, the indomitable if reckless major league baseball outfielder known for crashing into outfield walls and fences?

Do they sing "Don't Fence Me In" while performing?

Does their ritual include reciting lines from the play Fences?

They must be fans of the Boston Red Sox, because you just know they love Fenceway Park.

Where were they from 1961 to 1989?

Certainly not in Berlin. That wall just didn't have enough give, did it, kids?


Sheila said...

what is wrong with some kids today? They need to find new hobbies.

Glamourpuss said...

well, you know what they say, the best form of defence is attack.


Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Can't they work off all that energy by privately and quietly just masturbating -- like in the good ol' day??

You are too clever by half (or maybe three-quarters) even with your Brit spelling of defense).


Lenny Cohen said...

I once opened for Jerry Jeff Walker in Talkeetna, Alaska and began my performance with an adaptation of that silly Garth Brooks' "No Fences."

Perhaps that is their inspiration?

Mirk said...

Just found your blog! Good stuff! We just call them eejits over here.

azgoddess said...

well, at least they are not straddling both sides of the fence


jbwritergirl said...

I must speak in de-fence of these poor youngsters.

Crankster said...

Slapstick or evolution in action?