Wednesday, December 06, 2006

In Flagrunte Delicto

Warning. Any time you see a heading in Latin, you know you are in for some high-brow, pinky-sticking-out-from-your fluted-glass snobbery.

As delicately described at Wikipedia:

In flagrante delicto or sometimes simply in flagrante (Latin: "while the crime is blazing") is a legal term used to indicate that a criminal has been caught in the act of committing an offense (compare corpus delicti). The colloquial "caught red-handed" or "caught in the act" are English equivalents.

The Latin term has come to be used far more often as a euphemism for a couple being caught in the act of sexual congress; in modern usage the intercourse need not be adulterous or illicit.

But wait. The astute reader will see that Senor Laforisto has cleverly changed the phrase to in flagrunte delicto.

Why is that?

A recent article in The New York Times noted that certain fitness clubs expel members for grunting in the gym. The particular case cited had to do with the forbidden grunting of a weightlifter.

Now, maybe I'm all wet on this, or barking up the wrong tree, but grunting at a health or fitness club (where you most assuredly will not find me) might be rude but not as rude, say, as grunting in church or temple or ashram or other place of worship. Or any number of other good-etiquette-demanding circumstances.

So let's talk about this, shall we?

Good to grunt: bathroom (especially if constipated), bedroom (alone or with another(s), but let's monitor the decibels if in an apartment complex, okay?), barn, amusement park ride, sports stadium, while walking the dog (in cane ambulato).

Bad to bark: bathroom (at work), hotel bedroom (oh, go ahead, I don't care), in work cubicle, on first date, on last date.

Your turn. Send those e-postcards right in, from all around the grunting globe!

Laugh. Or....



mist1 said...

The FAA: Hard at work.

Anonymous said...

i'd rather someone grunt than fart...especially in closed areas like health clubs -- they can be deadly...

so while we are at it - let's ban farters...ok??

absurd for sure...

thought you'd enjoy this one - laugh or else yourself, my friend

Glamourpuss said...

I'm not a grunter, or a barker.

I prefer to purr.

Especially when stroked.


Woozie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Woozie said...

What about grunting during the sexytime? Is nice?

Army said...

This term was used on the movie "Clue" and I had never looked it up to see what it meant. Now I'm laughing even harder at the movie! I love doing that.

I can rest easier tonight! Gettin' all educated totally rocks!