Wednesday, November 22, 2006

One Bugger, Well Done, With Wings

I haven't blobbed (I mean, blogged) in a while. It's thyme. I mean, time.

Would you like fries with that bugger? I mean burger.

And you say typos don't matter?

As a former copy editor, I say: They do!

A front-page article in yesterday's McPaper, a.k.a.
USA Today
, got me thinking. Evidently, a few typos here and there have wreaked havoc with a few laws. Such as inadvertently setting the wrong limits for drunken driving (such that every driver would be guilty). Or adding a grand total of 1.5 cents to a state treasury, um, instead of $8 million. All because of sloppy editing.

I did a little browsing and, courtesy of a Dr. Jo Koster of Winthrop University, I discovered these, edited to suit my fashion (c'mon, Dr. K, The Laughorist got you a little free publicity):

"To be or to be." Well, I knew Hamlet had some issues; maybe they were just trying to simplify his choices. According to Dr. Koster, six professional proofreaders failed to catch the mistake.

"This contract shall be effective as of the singing of this agreement."
---From a customer’s rental agreement; he was not a vocalist.

“He used his wench to pull his truck out of the ditch.”
---Feminists were undoubtedly outraged.

“I know judo, karate, jujitsu and other forms of marital arts.” (Dr. Andrew, can you weigh in on this?)
---Next time, try love, honor, and lack of dismay.

“Sign up now for our Beauty and Fitness Curse.”
--Open Education Exchange

Laurgh. Or. . .

Else.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I am also a stickler. My personal favorite:

The penis mightier than the sword.

Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving my friend. Have a wonderful day.

Later Y'all

Andrew said...

“I know judo, karate, jujitsu and other forms of marital arts.”

Hi Pawlie, Thanks for asking.

Well, I've had several people write to me with marital problems and I've wondered if they were using some of these skills at home. There are more important (and more appropriate) marital arts that all guys should master, though, such as how to properly answer the question, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" (Anything involving hesitation or the word "yes" may lead to her using the marital arts listed at the top, so be careful...)

Happy Thanksgiving Paul!

Andrew ("To Love, Honor and Dismay")

Glamourpuss said...

I remember an old small ad for a walk-in medical centre that said 'Try our service you won't get better.'

Actually, I'm still trying to get over the post title - is that a 'specialist' interest then? I've never known it done with wings before... SOunds like something Oscar Wilde would pay for.

Puss (with her filthy European mind)

jbwritergirl said...

Can't think of a damn thing. Have a wonderful day and may your bird be in the oven not on the hand of some asshole.
JB

Anonymous said...

Funny, funny, funny! Happy Thanksgiving my friend.

Anonymous said...

Too funny.Thanks for the laugh and have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Mimi Lenox

Anonymous said...

As I sit here stuffed X 2, since I just ate all the leftovers, I'm laughing...Does that count for exercise? Hope your turkey day was great!
Peace

JR's Thumbprints said...

I can always count on you for a good chuckle.

Conquer said...

Very funny!!

-Laura