I just took an evening stroll with our trusty Golden Retriever, nine or ten years old (human),and I got to thinking as I observed her curiosities and excitations.
I recalled a hilarious cartoon in The New Yorker not too long ago, I believe by Alex Gregory. It showed two dogs checking each other out by smelling each other's private parts simultaneously. The caption went something like (but funnier than), "We've got to find another way to introduce ourselves."
They say the sense of smell of dogs is something like 100 times that of our sense of smell.
What if we were to reacquire that same olfactory perceptiveness that we used to have, way back when, even before MTV and rotary phones? The ramifications are endless. It might even lead to greater understanding, and world peace. If only. (Well, not that dogs never fight.)
Imagine if that sense of smell could be articulated (because, after all, our sense of smell affects us every day in ways we do not even know). I can just imagine some bits of daily conversation, or interior monologue, whether at home, at work, or on the international stage:
I smell fear on you; that's why I'm going to take advantage of you.
Well, we all know why he (or she) is so chirpy today! Got lucky. Twice.
I know you're lying. I can smell it.
We know they will attack. You can smell that rage a mile away.
They're bluffing. It's obvious with those olfactory signals.
Well, this is their territory. They've marked it out. And there's more of them than us.
You say you hate me but everything else about you says the opposite.
We're going to win.
We're going to lose.
No one will beat this hand. Just smell what they've got!
I think we can work things out; we're even.
She's not worth it.
He's not worth it.
Special bonus from The Laughorist:
Words related to smell, from David Grambs's The Endangered English Dictionary:
nasute -- having a good sense of smell
hyperosmic -- having a keen sense of smell
osphretic -- smellable
maleolent, olid -- smelling bad
olent -- smelling fragrant
caprylic -- smelling like an animal
oikiomiasmata -- smells that are noxious from household conditions
noctuolucent -- smelling strongest at night