Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Fears and Loathings

"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music."
-- Vladimir Nabokov


Here's five of each.

Fears

1. Losing it.

2. Being lost.

3. Losing them.

4. Finding nothing.

5. Finding nothing and calling it everything.

(5a. Emitting in a crowded elevator what I thought would be an SBDF [silent but deadly fart] but which tragically turns out to be a VLBDF [very loud but deadly fart].)


Loathings

1. Mainstreaming of the word "pimp" (despite a dumb advertisement that shows up on this site).

2. The concept of so-called multitasking. (See The Laughorist's June 22 post on "Age Quod Agis" = "Do what you are doing.")

3. Weed-whacking devices and leaf blowers -- and the horrid sounds they make.

4. Not replying (to "thank you," or to something one said in the cubicle although the cubicle neighbor expects a ready reply to every comment he or she makes, or to emails, because you need not deign to reply to factotums, or not replying to whatever ad nauseam. Not replying. It bothers me. I see the therapist tomorrow, okay?).

5. Pushing forward in line ("queue" is the word in the British Commonwealth, is it not, ol' chap?) while saying, "Excuse me" or "pardon" (or, don't you invoke "sorry" in the U.K. in such instances?).

5a. Littering. It strikes me as a solipsistic blow to civilization. I suppose the concept of "littering" can apply to verbal littering (but how can you pick up and properly dispose of words once they are said? And is blogging a form of verbal littering?) and to the proliferation of consumerist crap (CC). One of these days you are likely to read of my demise because I had the audacity to challenge a litterer directly.

5b. Politicians who cannot say these three words: "I was wrong," and by extension a climate that ruins a politician who utters those words, and by further extension a society that does not allow itself to admit the wrongness of any of its actions on any level (also known as imperial arrogance), and while we're at it, the hollowness of politicians of all stripes -- a hollowness that prevents them from exhibiting one honest thought, one original idea, or one authentic emotion.

Now give me five. (More or less).

Of yours.

Laugh. Or....
Else.

15 comments:

monicker said...

Fears:
strange men
becoming my mother


Loathings:
bad drivers
exercise
impertinence
rudeness


Hmm. It was much easier to come up with things I hate.

Odat said...

Good post!

My fears:
- Not being able to laugh
- Alzhiemers disease
- Lonliness (altho I like being alone a lot)
- the future
- not having enought clean underwear

My Loathings:
- Katie Couric's lips ( or lack thereof)
- Waking up to the sound of leaf blowers on Saturdays
- People using cell phones while driving
- Unleashed dogs
- Garbage cans in the middle of the sidewalk

shadow falcon said...

More then anything else in the world I HATE rude people.

Why do people find it so hard to have manners?

-people who sit on the outer seat on a packed bus or tube and have no intension of letting someone use the empty seat next to them.

the Laughorist said...

Monicker,
Yes, why do the loathings come so easily?
Odat,
But, ah, solitude and loneliness are vastly different, eh? If no clean underwear, you can always go commando. And ever notice how those unleashed-dog owners [no hyphen there makes the owners unleashed!!] always say -- she/he won't hurt you? Right.
Shad.F,
Yes. your rudeness loathing caused me to repost [riposte] regarding litter.

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

We have a new Mac. Anyone know how to change fonts and colors and sizes on a post? I don't even see that as an option on a PC. Meloncutter, does that mean I should go for one of those beta templates? Can it be done?

meloncutter said...

I found the changing of the template in blogger beta to be very easy. I would make copies of your counters and ad HTMLS and save them to like a word pad file. You might have to copy and paste them back into your page to get them working again. blogger help has a lot of good info to guide you through these things. Setting your page after you select a template is now drag and drop with blogger beta and that is nice for a computer dummy like me.

Adding a link is much more simple as you only need the URL and a name. It takes care of the HTML for you. Other than the non compatability between the old blogger and blogger beta, I am finding a lot to like about beta.
I do have to use my user name and password all the time though and that can be a little cumbersome.

Shoot me an email if you have any more questions and I will help if I can.

Later yall....

mist1 said...

Fear: Paper cuts.
Loathing: Him.

Meloncutter said...

OK Here we go.

Fears:

Spiders.
Big spiders.
Little spiders.
Things that look like spiders.
Shopping with the spouse.

Loathings:

Spiders.
Big spiders
Little spiders
Things that look like spiders.
Shopping with the spouse.


Later Yall.

MyHeartHurts said...

Great list...
Laugh or else...
Fear: becoming a spinster!
Loathing: being a spinster!
Be well always! M

azgoddess said...

fears:

we wont wake up in time to save ourselves
farts in public when i'm walking - don't ask
they will instate the draft and i'll loose my son
we won't stop global warming in time


loathings:

mind-less people who support an president with no knowledge of what he is really doing to them
doctors who act like they are god
people who think that there is a drug for everything - NOT!

ok done...thanks for letting me vent

jbwritergirl said...

Fear #1: Not finding the story

Loathing#1 Having to write it

Fear #2 Speling misstakes

Loathing#2 Managing Editor on PMS

Fear#3 That my children will get lost

Loathing#3 That my children won't get lost

Fear#4 A brazillion wax

Loathing#4 A dull razor

Fear#5 Getting older

Loathing#5 Looking in the mirror at 4am wondering what the hell

Phelan said...

Fears;
Laying the bike down

People in cars that don't look for motorcycles

Skunks eating all my hens

one of my children dying

Loathing;
people in cars that force my motorcycle up on the sidewalk to avoid their stupidity

people that drive while talking on a cell phone

skunks
rotten eggs

Michael C said...

Fears: 1. poor health of friends or family
2. Losing my sense of humor about life
3. Professional failure
4. My children won't be happy in life
5. Fred Willard will stop doing TV

Loathings: (is that grammatically correct Mr. Laughorino?)
1. Outright stupidity
2. Violence
3. Excessive Foul Language
4. Liars
5. Celebrities in the news, except for Fred Willard, who never is anyway

Sheila said...

Fear
1. Being alone at night
2. Spiders
3. Speaking in public
4. the future, specifically mine
5. Alzhiemer's Disease

Loathing
1. periods
2. Stupid people
3. People who blame everyone but themselves
4. Mint Chocolate Chip icecream
5. People who ask you "Are you ok?" 3 million times after you have already told them that you are fine

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Fears:

1. Losing one of my children
2. Losing my husband
3. Becoming homeless
4. Other drivers and careless pedestrians
5. Terrorist attacks

Loathing:

1. Drivers using cell phones
2. Leaf blowers, weed eaters, neighbor's loud music and other intrusive cacophonies
3. Governmental stupidity (Notice how "mental" is part of "governmental.")
4. Cruelty to children and animals
5. Violence of any kind