According to wire service reports, a doctor pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand [full stop, as the Brits say]. From a medical school cadaver. In, where else, New Jersey.
He allegedly stole the hand to give to an, um, exotic dancer in, where else, L.A. They say she kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her, um, bedroom. They say she called the thing "Freddy." (Why not "Cold Hand Luke?")
One wonders if she used (or planned on using) the left hand (it so happens I'm left-handed, as well as alive, so I can assure you it was not my hand. Like, I wish!) on the job, so to speak, or at home, in her bedroom. (For at least once in my life, I will resist temptation, in this case the temptation to use an obviously vulgar term that describes a certain digitally manipulated sexual act. There. I've resisted. Technically, at least.)
Maybe it was to be a prop for her cover of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand."
Or perhaps classical music grabbed her interest more (e.g., Handel).
Or it was just a ghoulish fashion accessory; it made her handsome.
I know, you were worried I was getting lax on the humor side.
Maybe I'm a bit rusty. But you can handle it.
"Only the hand that erases can write the true thing,"
(Meister Eckhart is a favorite of mine, plus that's one of my favorite quotations, stylistically and spiritually; I know, I've got some nerve bringing "spiritual" into the discussion.)