Saturday, July 07, 2007

A Citizen in Good Standing


The Scene: A Wendy's Restaurant, Route 11, Upstate New York.

Problem 1: Although I rather like the spicy chicken sandwich, in the realm of fast-food crap, the fries are cold, soggy, and tasteless (with or without the special seasoning of my serial comma subsequent to the word soggy).

Problem 2: The chairs. The visitor to this dining experience encounters a mucilaginous clinginess not on the seat itself fortunately, but on the back and handles of the Not-Quite-Stickley sticky furniture. One shudders at the age and origin of such stickiness. My convo (Australian for conversation) about this does not enhance the epicurean feast.

Problem 3: Global what? The place exudes arctic temperatures.

Problem 4: A trip to the men's room offers one Pawlie Kokonuts a manly challenge indeed. The porcelain pretreatment device (PPD), or urinal, is positioned at a level that makes one wonder. It is, what, 1 meter high? Must Everyman stand on a stool to accomplish the deed? (No jokes about the architect and his own personal equipment or the equipment manipulations the Average Guy must manage.) Mr. Kokonuts gives thanks he is not a little person, or dwarf, and completes his task. (No comment on the need to dry one's hands either in one's armpits or on one's pants.) Upon his return to the dining experience, Pawlie Kokonuts regales his audience with a tale about the urinal standing challenge, evincing gales of laughter from his progeny (even showing her Exhibit A, sans Pretreatment Contributor, of course), to frowns and scowls from spouse.

For those counting, this is at least my second post involving a urinal (two different urinals, though).

(The photo is from NASA, presumably depicting the elimination option that astronauts employ.)

7 comments:

Ralph said...

Pawlie, this wheelchair user has found many PPD's that are like scaling Everest from the seated position. Toilet paper might sub for paper towels, but not well. The tables in most fast food places are never really cleaned. I's agreed, the fries have a good taste shelf life of no more than 5 minutes, but will still be served whenever...

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Ralph,
Your perspective really puts this in perspective, thanks.

pk

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

That NASA machine looks just a LITTLE intimidating.

My lion is peeking around me at it suspiciously.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore (the lion)

Glamourpuss said...

It is a universal truth that all fast food restaurants are an abomination; dirty, incovenient and serving inedible filth. I always regret stepping inside. As does my digestive tract twelve hours later.

Puss

azgoddess said...

can you say - drive-thru? i don't like to eat in one of those places but when i do, i refuse to sit...

see, i used to work in one of those during college summer vacations..and man, some of the stories i could tell you...

great post!!

Army said...

I must say that Wendy's has gone downhill (especially) after Dave passed away. Most of them look run-down and have that stickyesque film coating on all parts wooden.

Spicy chicken does rock, though : )

Interestingly, we had three Wendy's in town that all of the sudden vanished. They all closed and we are without a Wendy's for who knows how big of a radius. Very mysterioso.

Unknown said...

Thank you for clarifying the origin of the picture, for although I've had no experience with urinals, I was fairly certain, before this post, that they do not look like that contraption. I was actually tilting my head, wondering if I might be looking at it the wrong way. I try my best not to make use of public washing facilities, although I'm sure my bladder and kidneys don't appreciate my ability to hold it. The stick is everywhere in those places.

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