dial me up and down (DMUAD)

On the fire truck it said, "Dial 911."

Makes sense. Remind people how to contact the fire department. Police vehicles have it, too. But let's face it: by now, who doesn't know that you dial 911 for an emergency. I know, I know: you don't dial anymore. you press buttons or touch a screen.

Got me wondering: what are the others? (They are called N11, or N-one-one codes of abbreviated dialing.) You've seen or heard of most or all of them:

211: Community information and services

311: Non-emergency information on local municipal government services

411: Directory assistance; in the old rotary-phone days, you'd call "Information"

511: Traffic information or non-emergency police information

611: Telephone company customer service and repair

711: TDD and other services for the hearing -impaired

811: Information on underground public utilities

You knew I'd go there. It's inevitable. But just the same: what are some others that are missing? Try these tri-numeral concoctions on for size:

123: Advice on decluttering and ordering.

456: More of above. (Advanced)

333: Advice from angels. In some area codes, advice on triplets.

666: Demonic advice and suggestions; how to ruin your or someone else's day. Often busy. Call again. Or the hell with it.

777: Lucky numbers for lotteries, engagements, weddings, divorces, conception, meetings, stocks, etc.

789: See above. (More Advanced)

38D: oops!

007: Espionage services. Fees may apply. In some area codes, connects to bondage services.

321: Launch services for emerging business ventures.

247: Exact time in your location or any requested location.

031: Tells which months have 31 days.

030: Tells which months have 30 days.

028: C'mon. Really?

420: Instant lassitude. For free. No side effects. Legal in all area codes.

041: Suggestions for April Fool's pranks.

214: Valentine's resources, support, crisis center.

050: Provides names of U.S. states and their capitals in alphabetical order. Available in 37 languages.

222: Facts, myths, legends, more facts, tragedies, more tragedies regarding The 2nd Amendment. Not NRA-approved.

660: All things Willie Mays.

069: Yin and yang meditations, education, guidance. In some area codes, the same, for Reciprocal Carnal Pleasure (RCP). 

012: Instant resources associated with Twelve Step programs.

013: Instant resources associated with Thirteenth Step dilemmas, issues, successes, failures, guidance, etc. Not a dating resource.

108: Guided meditations, chants, mantras, or prayers with mala or rosary beads.

Those New Year's Resolutions

Now that we are reaching the halfway point of 2009's long march into 2010 (and I hope by 2010 people start saying, "Twenty ten" instead of "Two thousand ten" because, after all, if you remember back to the ol' 20th century, we didn't typically say "Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine"; we said "Nineteen ninety-nine." And rarely did we ever say, "One thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine," except on occasions requiring pomp and exaggerated formality), how are those new year's resolutions coming along?

I didn't make any new year's resolutions.

Did you?

Just asking.

. . . and miles to go

My 1999 Ford Contour turned 100,000 miles yesterday. (Turned. Is that the term?) I was disappointed to have discovered this milestone event after the fact, 4 miles after the fact. Thinking back, the landmark moment would have been while I was on the highway, so it would have been risky to stop on the interstate and mark the occasion. I am not sure why it matters. I have with other cars pulled over and paused to celebrate or otherwise observe the event. I'd say, "Kids, wow, look at all those nines become zeros! Cool!" (They'd feign interest, or not, and continue with their electronic game or reading or music listening or dazing out the window.) Or with yet other vehicles I'd set off firecrackers, hire strippers, and shake Pepsi bottles as faux champagne for the gala numerical bonanza.

Yes, one is wise to ask why it matters at all to me. Why should one configuration of digits matter more than any other?

Of course, carried to its logical extenson, that question would also apply to birthdays, anniversaries, et cetera ad infinitum ad nauseam for just about any human endeavor.

It would be so zen-like to say "This Is This" and be at peace with it, be it the numerical commemoration of birth, death, gain, or loss.

Anyway, I figure it is now less than (fewer than?) 10,000 mles before I encounter the exquisite beauty of 111,111.1 miles showing up on the odometer, assuming both I and the car roll that far.

Age quod agis.