Showing posts with label anachronism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anachronism. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Confessions of an Anachronism


Call me Anachronism. And why is that? I am an anachronism (albeit a proud anachronism) because:
  1. I wear slippers.
  2. I wear pajamas.
  3. Communal meal times are sacred and should not be marred by one's answering the phone or watching television. (If one is alone, anything goes.)
  4. I use the word "one" like an old fuddy-duddy (see above).
  5. I use the word anachronism.
  6. I loathe multitasking.
  7. The demands and rigors of quotidian, paid labor do not intercede upon my every waking hour and every thought in my head (except for all-consuming anxiety, paranoia, and neurosis related to same).
  8. I read books (fiction even! and poetry!).
  9. I read newspapers -- in print.
  10. I watch news (worse yet, I listen to news reports on the radio).
  11. I have not the slightest idea how to use an iPod or the MP3 player that my satellite radio comes with.
  12. I know what a preposition is and understand that in item 11 I ended a sentence with a preposition -- and I'm perfectly okay with that.
  13. I have diagrammed sentences on a blackboard.
  14. I have to gladly say I have split infinitives.
  15. I continue to obsessively rant about something called the serial comma.
  16. I was taught by Mrs. Rivers in seventh grade that these words take predicate nominatives: is, am, was, were, have been, has, had, appear, feel, grow, become, look, taste, remain; consequently, "I feel bad" is the preferred form. (Hunh?)
  17. I used to know the Our Father in Latin (let's see now, how does that go? "Pater noster qui es in caelis...").
  18. My car lacks one of those automatic key starters and has manual locks.
  19. I am a sinning believer, a member of a religious institution who tries to attend and partake of its services regularly.
  20. I am an anachronism.
Out of time.

Rarely on time.

What century do I belong to? What era? Victorian perhaps?

What era is your era?

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