desire, thy name is . . .

Sprout Pharmaceuticals got FDA approval for its libido-boosting pill for women, called Addyi. As with many pharmaceuticals, it is controversial, in this case exposing two opposing lines of thought about the need for the drug and questions about its safety and efficacy. I'll dodge that debate. I'm not qualified to engage in it, for a multitude of reasons.

But I am qualified to engage in verbal foreplay. Or is it syllabic role-play? Anyway, is it vaguely possibly that the pharma pholks considered, and rejected, any of these names for their new product?

Attagirl

Attaboy

Loveya

Likeya

Friendme

Pantpurrgo

Screamy

Warmup

Myagra

Empowerglo

You can see why these were not selected. Suppy your own in the comments, if you dare.

(Incidentally, what do you think of Sprout Pharmaceuticals? What other industries is Sprout in? Seeds? hedge funds? fertility clinics? turf? irrigation? fertilizer? vitamins?)

p.s. The generic name is flibanserin. Play with that one, too, wordsmitherers.

Dot Orgasm

Who is Dot Orgasm, you ask? You are about to find out. (No, not a retro, 1970s porn star.) According to a recent ruling by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, or ICANN, the configuration for top-level domains (TLDs) is about to become virtually unlimited (well, up to 64 characters).

That means aside from dot com or dot org or dot net, or a few other new permissible TLDs, the doors will be wide open. Brand names, slogans, editorials, younameit. And inevitably we'll see dot orgasm, I'm sure, as one of the tamer variations on that theme.

Critics say it will cause chaos. As in dot utterconfusionandanarchy.

I had better reserve dot pawliekokonuts right away (or presently, to use the traditional sense of that word).

They say bidding will start at six figures.

That part, I like.

Misnomers and Mr. Nomers

So, several weeks ago I met the guy who owns our building. Being a suitably affable marketing guy (who never wears a suit), I amiably chatted with him. His name is Peter M., a genial and talented Captain of Modern Industry. I discovered we went to the same college, etc.

Turns out he's a trustee of the college. I'm not. It may have something to do with the variance in our levels of alumni donations over the years. I'm just guessing.

Peter comes down to our floor to visit fairly frequently.

I notice he's been calling me Peter.

At first I thought I heard wrong, but, no, he says, "Hi, Peter."

Trouble is, I've been replying, "Hi, Peter" in true Doppelganger Loyalist fashion.

I'm a J. Alfred Prufrock on this one. A wimp.

I couldn't bring myself, after several nominal misnomers (or mister nomers, if you prefer) to correct him.

I didn't know how to begin. Call me Pawlie (not Peter) Kowardnuts, if you must.

Ballet Daughter warned me: You'd better nip this in the bud. It'll only get worse.

Today I took action.

I told Shannon, Peter's assistant. And she told Peter. Brave, eh?

Peter came by later in the afternoon, rolling his eyes. We're good. however, he departed my "office" area saying, "See you later," noticeably but good-humoredly not saying my name.

If he only knew about Pawlie Kokonuts.

Whew.