Anniversary Inventory

Since, um, we last spoke, I have:

• Blown (careful, now) my Rudolph-red nose 7,829 times
• Sneezed 1,645 times.
• Slept 22.34 hours (but most of that in the last two days, aided by Benadryl; doing better, thank you)
  
• Celebrated the anniversary of my (premature; of course!) birth (December 18; yeah, not just Pawlie Kokonuts, but also the birth anniversary of Keith Richards, Steven Spielberg, Ray Liotta, Katie Holmes, Christina Aguilera, Steve Biko, Betty Grable, um, Keith Piper, et alia, but not Soren Kierkegaard; oh, I forgot Brad Pitt; must've been insecure sharing the klieg lights with him; also Ty Cobb, Paul Klee, DT Suzuki, too)
  
• Been treated to a luscious gourmet dinner for said anniversary
• Received a total of eight books (6.5 for my birthday anniversary); one set of Rothko notecards; one tin of shortbread cookies (Crabtree & Evelyn)
• Coordinated the writing, pricing, and distribution of two corporate proposals potentially worth a couple hundred thousand dollars, equal to about 25 euros, give or take
  

Thanks. One and all.

Carry on.

As you were.

Mobular Prognostications

Last year I discovered we have HBO on a TV upstairs, although we never asked for it (it must've fallen off a truck), so I became a latecomer fan of "The Sopranos." I thought I wouldn't be able to follow it, given all the twists and turns of the previous seven or so years. But, hey, I enjoy it, right from the theme song. (Well, one or two shows this season were total bombs.) It's a great tragicomic epic soap opera with broads and bullets. (Best hilarious line last week: "It doesn't take a gynecologist to know which way the wind's blowing.") It's weird. Just when you begin to sympathize with Tony Soprano, he whacks someone or knocks eight teeth out of someone's skull (with a bit of tooth shrapnel in his pants cuff found when he's at his therapist's).

I'm gonna miss it. Sunday is the finale.

So,

here are

Top Ten Predictions for 'The Sopranos' Finale

10. A.J. becomes the 11th Democrat to run for President (of the U.S.).

9. Meadow gives up pre-law to run The Bada-Bing.

8. Sil recovers from his wounds and opens a hair salon.

7. Vito's son starts a goth band.

6. Carmela has a sex change, readying her for a starring role in the spin-off "The Altos."

5. Christopher's widow produces "Cleaver 2."

4. Dr. Melfi tries to shoot Carmella but misses.

3. The shrink Elliot whacks Dr. Melfi.

2. Tony Soprano enters the federal Witness Protection Program and assumes the name George W. Bush.

and

1. Paulie Walnuts enters the federal Witness Protection Program as Pawlie Kokonuts.