'we apologize for any inconvenience'

Isn't that a business's most lame statement? (Or any other entity that declares it.) It's false, phony, insincere, inauthentic, self-regarding, fraudulent, shallow, unimaginative, superficial, provocative, one-dimensional, wrongheaded, insipid, and dumb. And the icing on the rancid cake is the fact that "inconvenience" is often spelled wrong!

The Munchin' Chronicles

What do you for lunch? More precisely, what do you do during lunchtime? This came up as an article of conversation about lunchtime conversation, before lunch. One guy in the office I was visiting said, "You could be like married people and just stare at each other." He was referring to the lunch I was about to have with a new employee. She's recently back to the U.S. after being in Europe for many years. I said I prefer grabbing a newspaper and eating by myself. That's what I typically do. Outdoors. Or in a conference room (it most assuredly cannot be at my desk; if I owned the company I'd forbid that; it is wretchedly unhealthy). Or at the mall. I used to do that nearly every day at our old location, since it was down the street from the new-fashioned public square. Sometimes I do errands. The library. The post office. Sometimes I meet with a group of friends. I like to be in a place where I can watch people (way better in the summer; fewer articles of clothing; more flesh). Oh. And I usually eat a lunch I make in the morning; sometimes I buy lunch downtown, or elsewhere. (Speaking of eating, Neal Conan on NPR's Talk of the Nation today actually said this to Strawberry Saroyan concerning unusual names, "Nice to eat you." Or maybe it was, "People must always be saying it was nice eating you." Gulp. She awkwardly paused, on the other end of the line, and said she didn't know how to respond to that. He seemed totally oblivious to the implications of his, um, muchable query.)

Sometimes I conduct business at lunchtime. Today was quasi-business. How does one conduct business at lunchtime? The point is, I'm gregarious, engaging, witty, talkative, inquiring. All that. Feign interest, at all costs.

But little do they all know the toll it takes on me. It takes its toll. The cost of living adjustment (COLA), call it.

I like lunchtime solitude.

Yesterday, however, I truly enjoyed happening upon Eric, on his birthday, 64, with his assistant. Dining outside. Relaxed. Unhurried. They invited me to sit down. Turns out Rebecca doesn't own a car, at all, takes the bus or other forms of transportation. She's around 33 or so. She topped me. I thought I was hot shit for taking the bus twice a week. Good for her. It can be done.

Maybe I should ditch my piece-of-crap car. The steering wheel ain't steering well. It shimmies. A shimmering sign?

So today's lunch was conversational and tasty (Vietnamese-Thai) and airy and thoughtful. But it takes energy.

What do you do at lunchtime?