May Day, or Whatchamacallit

Calling from Brooklyn, a dear old friend of mine said to me last night, "This [referring to the financial mess] could make the Depression look like the Feast of San Gennaro." I laughed robustly because it was such a great line -- which we both hope turns out not to be prophetic. Speaking of feasts, it's more like May Day! May Day! Well, October 4 was (and still is) the Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi. He's an apt model: a spoiled rich kid who gave it all away and devoted his life to God and others. And found joy in poverty. Picture a hot shot on Wall Street or Hollywood celeb who discovers the emptiness of it all. Something like that. He may be remembered most as a kind of Dr. Dolittle, but the statue of him in your garden stands for so much more. In my teens I thoroughly enjoyed the novelization of his life by Nikos Kazantzakis. Don't you just love that name? I do. Incidentally, the epitaph on his tombstone reads: "I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free."

Hydroxymoron News

A recent Wall Street Journal article notes that due to popular demand (and the ardent passion of zealous Hydrox lovers) Kellogg Co. is bringing back the Hydrox brand cookie. The Hydrox faded owing to the popularity of its competitor, the Oreo cookie, or for who knows what conspiratorial reasons.

Frankly, I'm not all that crazy about either one, though one of them was surely great for dunking into milk just before bed eons ago. 'member dat?

Hydrox. Do you think the choice of name hurt? "A good product name for a toilet cleaner, maybe, but a cookie?" Those are the words of a Dan Lerner, 75, a Hydrox fan quoted in the WSJ piece. (Not that Oreo is that great a name either, in my view.)

I always thought they should have a promotional night at the ballpark in Baltimore; call it Baltimore Oreos Night and give out free cookies. Maybe give out free serial commas along with Kellogg's cereal at another ballpark.

Work with me here. I've been slipping on my own branding. I mean, where are all the aphorisms with laughs? Where have all the laughorisms gone?

Hydrox. What a name. Can anyone nominate some other bad product names?

(Ah, the Internet. Sure enough, there's a blog devoted to bad product names. Of course. There would be. There's everything else. And we mean everything.)