Fifty-one Shades of Slate

You gods and goddesses of climate and color, you grayed us today, oh yes, you did. You sent us scurrying to thesauruses (thesauri, if you prefer) of dank drabness to describe the day and its discontents. Slate. Pewter. Lead. Argentine. Smoke. Steel. No, those are all paltry attempts at circumscribing the curtain that descended on our quotidian tasks, or avoidance of them owing to crippling dismalness. Are you pleased? Are you satisfied with your prodigious display of blanketed doom? Are you proud of such meteorological talents (on a Monday, no less!)? What next, cascading ash from the volcanic eruption of Mt. Pavlof in Alaska? R.S.V.P.