An Open Letter To Michael C of 'The Wonderful World of Nothing'
I lost. You win. Back in the fecund days of spring I bet you that my once-beloved-but-now-bedraggled San Francisco Giants would perform better in baseball in 2007 than your Lost Angles Dodgers.
As I recall, the loser (i.e., Mr. Kokonuts) had to extol the virtues of the better team. Something like that.
That's easy. For starters, you did not have a stumbling, sulking, fumbling, homeric, grandiose, prodigiously talented but woefully waning left fielder named Barry Bonds. That's huge (like Barry's naked head). It has a ripple effect (like steroid-enhanced musculature).
You also had better starting pitching, base-running, fielding, base-hitting, bunting, slugging, and relief pitching. (I didn't check with the Elias Sports Bureau for factual accuracy, but I'm sure I'm close enough.) Better manager? We'll call that a toss-up.
I will not admit you have better uniforms or food at the stadium (since I love the orange and black and loathe Dodger blue and have not been to Dodger Stadium or AT&T Park. Yet).
I readily admit you have more lascivious and sultry babes at the stadium (being so close to Hollywood and all, what with all your would-be starlets and pin-ups, even if no one uses that term anymore). And it would not be hard for your fans to be more passionate and exuberant than our latte-sipping, cellphone-chatting languid loungers. (I say "our," but I am not of that cosmopolitan NoCal ilk.) And your second baseman? Future Hall of Famer Jeff Kent? I cannot deny it. We should've kept him, somehow enticed him to stay (should have given him a few pickups so he could have, um, washed them), even if he and Barry were at each other's throats (literally in 2002).
Congrats, you win.
But not by much.
Both teams stank.
It was the first time in many years our two teams brought up the rear (no San Francisco jokes, please) in the standings.
Go Tribe! (Are we not both happy that the Nueva York Jankees have lost?)
The Laughorist
A.K.A. Pawlie Kokonuts, Esq.
7 comments:
Technically, you still won: at the end of the day, they are *still* the Los Angeles Dodgers ;o)
Well, maybe the Giants can still get A-Rod if he opts out of his NY contract. Then SF will have what they had with Bonds: a player working to obliterate Bonds' HR record, and stink in any/all playoff games. Just my opinion...
Hi PK, I'm not a sports person. Just wondering how ol' Soren Kierkegaard got into the mix in your labels.
What am I missing?
This was beautiful. Though I feel somewhat guilty that got stuck looking at all the pinups you linked to. Was this to intentionally throw me off? Well it didn't work, because when I am done looking at said pinups, I plan tp finish tht marvelous post you wrote today
;-)
Thank you my friend. Same bet next year and YES, the Yankees are at home for the remainder of the season!!!!
That was very nice! I don't know if I would have been able to do the same....;-)
(am I the only Yankee fan left???)
(Ok, so i admitted it). Shoot me now.
Peace
Dear Very Lord Esquire PK,
You have my sympathies.
*****GO ROCKIES*****
Scarlett & Viaggiatore
PS - I have something nice for you over at my page, to help heal your deficit here.
Madame M,
Ah, do I detect some collegial anti-Dodger camaraderie?
Ralph,
I'd take A-Rod in a NY minute; remember, Dave Winfield was also a dreadful postseason guy.
Patti,
OK. A little disclosure is in order: any time I mention Kierkegaard, or almost any time, it is a shameless attempt to get some business at my little web store. Its leading sellers are the 'I Leap for Kierkegaard' products [see link on the blogroll].
Michael,
Yeah. Aren't some of those pinups classic hotties? Who are you going for in the playoffs? I'm actually switching to the AL -- Cleveland.
Odat,
I hope you're not crying like the Yankees' Susyn Waldman.
WS,
Alas, the Rockies are on an unbelievable roll. Yoyr team is HOT. Go Tribe!
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