Before you go all-out puritan on me, this is a column on semantics.
I thought I misheard it, but I didn't: "You're cockblocking me" -- or words to that effect, on "Million-Dollar Real Estate" or whatever that show is on Bravo. (It could be called any number of similar names on any number of other so-called reality-show*** channels.)
"Did he say 'cockblocking'? What's that?" I asked a younger person in my family who was watching the show. She attempted to define it diplomatically and pointed me to the Urban Dictionary, which is a lexicographer's delight. Cockblocking apparently refers to one's thwarting another's sexual-liaison opportunity. It seems to be used by men and women. Of course, for the next hour or so I used cocblock out loud in every conceivable manner, just because I'm addictive and compulsive and socially unruly and wanted to have some semantic antics. (Putting on my quasi-academic robes, I wonder if it was indirectly derived from the term "shotblock" in basketball.)
It was suggested that perhaps I was "cockblocked by God" after I mentioned at dinner (shortly afterwards at Panera) my seminary background and double life in high school as a "pious" acolyte who sometimes hid porn magazines (probably coffee-table reading these days) as most, or at least some, teenage boys routinely did in those days. (Notice how I'm still struggling with Catholic guilt, at least a little.) But residual or shadow guilt did not prevent me from literally LOLing about this characterization.
Imagine if "cockblock" were to be used in a presidential debate. That'd be honest, funny, and semantically exciting.
"Mr. Romney, you and your anti-everything party not only cockblocked health-care reform but every jobs stimulus we offered. You're a bunch of cockblockers. You've cockblocked the American people."
No, it won't happen.