I wonder why 12 Steps no, I don't refer to denial and all its discontents, its dis- contents I mean why 12? not 11? or 13? or 9? Why any number in certain civilizations? and all I can figure are 12 months 12 inches 12 apostles any other 12s come to mind?
this very day Kierkegaard used that phrase six years ago he died my brother, not Kierkegaard St. Andrew's Day patron saint of Scotland Thomas Richard Hayes half brother but nothing half about it I wasn't there that moment but weeks before his patient lessons of golf to me a non-golfer the Florida sun the pillowed dark dawn farewell we knew we loved today this very day celebrating branch vein leaf cloud sun raindrop pulse
where's it end? where's it begin? surely, next year (or maybe this year on Christmas Day) some retailer will try to get the jump on everyone else by opening, say, at 7 p.m. on Thanksgiving night. forget about black Friday; it'll start to be Black Thursday. shortly thereafter a retailer will jettison the whole pretense and take advantage of the whole pretext and stay open 24/7 on the holiday and every day any day. you watch.
A couple years ago a friend wore a dress for thirty consecutive days, and blogged about it. Around that time, as an experiment in I-don't know-what, I wore a tie for thirty straight days. Or tried to. I think I succeeded. I might try it again. I enjoyed wearing a purple tie, by Pink, today. People have written books about lots of weird streaks: 30 successive days, or more, of going on a date, a year without sex, you name it.
Saw Tower Heist. My first choice, J. Edgar, was sold out. Twice. That's encouraging, in its own way.
At least I expected Tower Heist to be funny.
It was not.
I liked Alan Alda as an affable, evil, charming swindler, a la Madoff.
The movie at times skated along a serious edge that touched on all the disparities of wealth the Occupy Wall Street folks are targeting. But it only skated along the edge of that and was afraid to confront the serious stuff. If it did do that, it might've been an interesting movie. And it still might've managed to be funny, just as The Sopranos managed to be at times. Ben Stiller could've pulled it off; Eddie Murphy, too. And Matthew Broderick. Tea Leoni also.
I traversed the aisles looking for blank cards. Blankly, I searched the shelves for blank cards that are not really blank, but only blank on the inside. I search the blankety-blank Hallmark store for some hallmark of aesthetic. Were any cards devoid of false sentiment? Did any cards, blank or unblank, express reality, my reality? I was coming up blank. My pistol of desire was shooting blanks. Sympathy. Birthday. For her. For him. Anniversary. New Job. Death of pet. Encouragement. Retirement. Troubled Relationship. I was drawing a blank, with no pen in my hand. As I roamed the carpeted aisles, a man said to me, "Can I help you? Have you found everything?" I hesitated. I almost replied to those great one-liners, those generous prompts. He wore a cap, like a truck driver would. Sloppy jeans. A work t-shirt. (I could be making all this up; the memory is less sharp these days.) He looked my age. He looked like a shopper. Why was he blithely asking me this customer service query? "Where are the blank cards?" He answered confidently and quickly, "The next aisle over." Slim pickings. mostly dreadful. The outer faces. The inside blanks, though, were very similar, but surely not identical in shape, scale, symmetry, weight. I bought a blank card. Two identical fish silhouettes, in a pond, ripples outward. Asian, to me. Blank, inside. At the counter, when I paid for this Hallmark blank card, there he was. A customer, signing his credit card payment slip. Just like me. Pissed me off. And why?
is it from plastic? or from the paint still drying? maybe the new floor mats? the upholstery? why is the smell of a new car so appealing? where does the new-car smell migrate to after it's gone? can you pick it up on your clothing? do car makers know the secrets of the smell of newness? why doesn't a house have a new-house fragrance? or does it? and why did I switch from smell to fragrance to describe this phenomenon? for how many miles does the smell of a brand-new car retain its new-car smell or fragrance? when they came out with a spray to replicate the new-car smell, what did they put in it? do I really want to know? do car sales reps (for new cars, not pre-owned car, which used to be called used cars) wear cologne or perfume of new-car-ness? does the new-car fragrance excite buying pheromones? can churches, temples, mosques, or synagogues entice more believers, or would-be believers,to enter their portals by importing new-car fragrance within the house of worship? are my hyphens pedantic? is there such a thing as a new-marriage smell or fragrance? don't you like the smell of a new baby, especially its skin? do republicans and democrats and independents differ in smell? if the new-car smell were bottled, could it be exported? is the new-car smell different depending on what country the car was made in? does it bother you that car has been used up above even though you might be thinking of a truck or SUV or something in between? does the new-car smell excite you, even a little? does it summon deep childhood memories? or does it evoke deep sadness or resentment because your family was never able to afford a brand-new car with a new-car smell? why do we say "brand-new"? has this pelting of questions regarding the new-car smell or fragrance started to weary you? will you lament the absence of the new-car smell the way you lament a loss? what color would you use to describe that good ol' new-car smell? what sound is it?