Pure romance? Or impure holiness? You decide. (Why not both? I say.) You may've heard about the church organist and choir director in Wisconsin (as in WisconSIN) who got fired for selling sex toys (on the side, so to speak). Yep. She was, um, a sales consultant for Pure Romance, sort of an erotic Avon products company that throws parties in women's homes. Wow. How shocking. What next? Women who take pole-dancing lessons at home? Oh. Right. Already happening. The priest said her position was not consistent with church teachings. Presumably, it would be okay if somehow these toys led to procreation. Or increased bingo revenues. Or squashed child molestation lawsuits. You can't make certain stuff up: the dateline for the story? New Franken, Wisconsin, where it's okay to be frank, but not too frank, at least not sexually, and evidently not with plastic vibrating frankfurters. The woman noted the choice was not hard (would you like that in pink or black?). According to news reports, she said she began selling the erogenous enhancers after a brain tumor and treatment resulted in sexual dysfunction. The former organist (go ahead! make your own puerile penile pun!), Linette Servais, 50, reportedly said, "After I got over the initial shock [was it a short circuit!?], I prayed over this a long time. I feel that Pure Romance is my ministry.'' She said she helps other women with problems like her own. So, let me get this, er, straight. If we accept her story, and the priest's premise, the sin consists of, what, the profit motive? The pleasure principle? The Peter Principle? A schedule conflict with choir practice? What's she guilty of? After all, she could even say she's helping these women put the pro in procreation. Apparently, some choir members quit in protest. And I quote: ". . . some have gathered at her home on occasional Thursdays to sing hymns." Beethoven's "Ode to Joy"? I've got a few others I could name, but decorum (and former seminarian boyhood guilt) prevent me.
Excuse me. Gotta go. My phone's vibrating.
8 comments:
Her sin, quite clearly, is enjoying sex, and we all know how much Christianity deosn't approve of that - particularly if you're a woman.
Here's to two thousand years of anti-feminism.
Purrrrrr....
Puss
Pawlie: this post was one of your better works. Your restraint in foregoing the most obvious of possible puns is to be commended.
Check me out
This was too much!
Oh my God that is so retarded. They fired her? Like anyone really gives a shit she sells sex toys on the side. Hey I use em' wonder if my church would excommunicate me if they found out. Heaven forbid.
oh dude -- didn't you know? women are not supposed to enjoy sex -- they're supposed to just lay there until their husbands are done and bare the fruit of his loins...and take care of the children and raise their daughters to not enjoy sex
damn dude, didn't you know it was eve (a woman) who got adam kick outta the garden - cuz she wanted to enjoy sex...so who knows what will happen if we women enjoy it??
tongue outta cheeks - again...smile but my hand is still between my knees
She just had the "balls" to say and do publicly what they're all doing anyway!!!!!!!!!!
Peace
You nut! I'm busting up over here!! LOL
Too, too funny...
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